


Burnt Out

by cornflakepizza



Series: Burn Verse [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Gen, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 18:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cornflakepizza/pseuds/cornflakepizza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce and the boys have a chat with Tim about the joys of self-pleasuring. Sort-of epilogue to "<a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/540550">Burning Up</a>" (NC-17). Implied JayTim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burnt Out

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [protagonistically](http://protagonistically.tumblr.com/post/33877440651) and [silencingthedrums](http://silencingthedrums.tumblr.com/post/33834985553/wraisedbyspookyghosts-ladies-and-gentlemen-my) at tumblr. A teenaged Damian suddenly exists, whoops.

It started with a book slipped under his door.

Tim hadn't even noticed the yellow paperback until he tripped over it one morning in his haste to get to school. He threw it into his bag without even looking at the cover, assuming it was something he had checked out of the library and forgotten about.

It wasn't until 4th period when he pulled the book out on accident instead of _Wuthering Heights_ that he realized his grave mistake _._

" _The Joy of Self-Pleasuring_ ," the book proclaimed in large curly letters. " _Why feel guilty about feeling good?_ "

Tim quickly stuffed the book back into his bag and hoped nobody around him had seen the incriminating cover. As he slunk deeper into his seat and tried to calm his rapidly beating heart, it hit him: Jason.

And after everything they had shared....

Tim wasn't sure who he was more angry with: Jason, for his stupid idea of a joke, or himself, for falling for someone who clearly didn't respect him.

* * *

A week went by. With a particularly time-consuming and dangerous case on his hands, Tim all but forgot about the prank and spent his free time pouring over explosives manuals.

"Tim, we need to talk."

Tim looked up from the manual he was surveying and resisted the urge to jump as Bruce, Dick, and Damian crowded around him.

Bruce looked worried. "It has come to my - _our_ \- attention that you've been having some difficulties lately."

Tim stared up at them, confused. "If you're talking about the McMillan case, I've got it under control. I just ne--"

Bruce interrupted him. "Tim. We're talking about taking care of yourself." When Tim continued to look up at him blankly, Bruce frowned. "Pleasuring yourself."

"Pleasuring my--oh. Oh my _god _.__ The book, that was--" Tim could feel himself starting to hyperventilate. "Wait. _Wait._ I am going to _kill_ him." He clenched his fists and made to stand up.

"Easy, Tim." Dick blocked his exit. "It's not Jason's fault. We're here to talk about you, not him."

Tim sat back down with a groan. "I... _why_? Why would he even tell you that?"

Dick shrugged. "Let's just say that I can be very persuasive."

Damian growled. "I thought we were here to talk about Drake's impotence, not your gross sexual exploits."

Before Dick could respond, Bruce set a hand on Damian's shoulder. "Damian's right. Tim, it's totally normal for boys your age to engage in masturbation. I'd even say that it's useful in our line of work."

Tim opened and closed his mouth a few times, then stared determinedly at the manual in his lap. Bruce took his silence as an invitation to continue.

"Masturbation serves as a useful form of stress relief. There's no need to worry about finding an appropriate partner, and it sidesteps having to deal with the emotional aspects of a relationship. You don't have to worry about the ethical implications of your relationship with said partner, or worry about why she hasn't returned your calls, or wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that you interrupted her attempted burglary last week, or--"

Dick cut it. "What Bruce is _trying_ to say is that it's totally normal for vigilantes to touch themselves. Even Damian grinds himself into his sheets at night when he thinks everyone's asleep."

"HEY!"

"It's not healthy for you to keep all that energy pent up," Dick continued, ignoring the scowling boy at his side. "How do you think I stay so flexible?"

"Dick...I don't think that's how science works," Tim muttered, still refusing to make eye contact with any of them.

"Yeah, well, that doesn't explain why I can't hit a quadruple flip if I haven't spanked it in the last 24 hours."

"Ugh, that is disgusting, Grayson."

"No, what's disgusting is that Alfred has to change your sheets every other night."

Bruce cut in over the sound of Damian sputtering. "When Jason was Robin--"

"Are you seriously going to reminisce about Jason jerking off right now?" Dick whined.

"As I was _saying _,__ when Jason was Robin, he used to favor taking a moment after school and again after patrol in the upstairs guest bathroom _ _."__

There was a moment of silence. Damian looked even more horrified.

"Father...why...why do you know that."

Bruce coughed. "It might be prudent for you to follow in his example, Tim. You seem stressed lately."

"We noticed you haven't been dating anyone lately," Dick said with a sympathetic smile.

"Not that he was getting any then, either," Damian snickered. Bruce shot him a glare.

"We just want you to be at your best. And happy. That too." Bruce clapped a hand to Tim's shoulder. "Well. I'm glad we had this talk."

Bruce turned and left, followed by Dick and Damian, still squabbling over whether or not Dick had slept with Jason.

Tim buried his face into his hands and willed himself to stop blushing. It was suddenly very apparent that his family's lack of boundaries was getting out of control. He and Jason were going to have a talk very soon about what constituted appropriate and inappropriate sharing. And then, and _then_...he was never going to speak to anyone in his family ever again.


End file.
